you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
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Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
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The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize