U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
