I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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