I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize