I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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