A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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