Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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