i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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