so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
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She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
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Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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