Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
