she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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