i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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