I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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