I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Did I show you my penis last night?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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