You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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