and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
