I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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