I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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