she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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