hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
