College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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