You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
