On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
