grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
