I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
