I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
