Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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