Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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