All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
