True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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