Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
