i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
