Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
