Dual....:-)
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
