so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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