Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
