I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I need to align my fucking chakras
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
