Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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