i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
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