it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
My feet surprised me
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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