And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
should my penis look like a turkey
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
