fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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