Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I'm always down for nudity.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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