you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
