Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize