Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
