i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
