I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
