i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
