have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
