I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
