My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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