i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
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