Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
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