I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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