who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
