You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
