i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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