Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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