Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
