I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
