i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
