just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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