Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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