got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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