READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
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Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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