i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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